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Gods Power and Love
It blows my mind these days knowing that even though I thought I was in control of things in my life before I obeyed Christ, I actually was not. I was ignorant of how little I actually controlled. I used to give myself the glory and pat myself on the back for all I thought I had accomplished. It was all about me in my mind. I got this job, I made myself get out of this tight squeeze, and people love me because I am who I am. Even though I had a family, girlfriend, and best friends, it wasn't until a little later in life that I found out I was actually still quite lonely and empty. It was crazy that after all the hard work I had put into life, after all the goals and tasks I had accomplished, I was still left feeling as if there was a void right smack in the middle of my heart.
For years as a young adult I tried filling this void with different worldly pleasures, yet nothing seemed to satisfy my hunger. In fact, I was left starving and malnourished wondering what was wrong with my life as I dug the well deeper and deeper and I was headed nowhere fast. Each time I finally felt some happiness and thought I was getting a little ahead in life, I always seemed to hit a wall. That lonesomeness was there again, which led to more depression and bad choices. However, in all those low moments when I felt like I was at rock bottom, I would get these epiphanies on how not to let these things happen again or how to avoid these bad situations. I think this was God screaming “TYLER WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFE BOY!!!!!” despite the fact that I was still giving myself all the credit and glory for thinking I had figured all these things out.
This pattern of my rejecting God’s word continued for around four years while God continued to try and steer me back onto the straight and narrow path. I would come right up to the point of making my life right for a while, and then fall right off the deep end again. Finally, I was struck with something so hard and unmistakable that I fell to my knees and began to cry and repent for all that I had done. In front of many grown men I cried and told God “I believe, I know you are the alpha and omega, please forgive me for all my transgressions.” At that very moment I instantly felt whole, complete, loved, and best of all, forgiven. It's amazing to me that I started my Christian life as a younger child and even though I fell away, God never once gave up on me. Even while I denied His very existence to others in the world, God loved me so much and was patient. He continued to prove me wrong and work on my unfaithful heart until I broke down and acknowledged Him as the only and true ruler of all things.
I can clearly see now in God’s word how He had always tried to steer me in the right direction and never gave up on me. It was the “I attitude” that blinded me from who was really in control. The entire time I thought I was doing things on my own, God's plan reined supreme and His will was done, not my own. This leads me to acknowledge how mighty and awesome His power and love is. He holds out blessings for us even when we are not living for Him -- Amazing! If that isn’t true love, then none of us will ever know what love is!
Today I put God first and not myself. It’s amazing how much clearer and visible the blessings come into focus. In times where I do well I feel as though He is there with me and I enjoying serving and trying to please Him. God’s power and love has the ability to reach into everyone's hearts and lives, even those of the harden sinners of the world. This fact only proves that He is a caring and loving being and truly wants the best for us like any good father would. Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound! I once was lost and blind, but now I'm found and can see clearly! If you ever feel alone or lost all you need to do is acknowledge God and follow what He declares for you to do through His word. Be still and listen for Him, not yourself. I'm positive He will guide your path and the answers will come.
Tyler Armagost
