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The Habit of Finding the Positive
Habits, we all have them, some of them good and some of them bad. What about driving? At first learning to drive is overwhelming for most. But as time goes on, it becomes second nature. Have you ever been on a road trip and couldn’t remember driving through certain areas? You could say driving is habitual.
According to psychologists, habits start with a psychological pattern, called a habit loop. First there is a cue that tells your brain to go into automatic mode. Second there is the routine, which is the behavior itself. Thirdly, there is a reward which helps the brain remember the process for the future.
"When Alcoholics Anonymous started, there was no scientific basis to it whatsoever. In fact, there's no scientific basis to AA. The 12 steps that are kind of famous? The reason why there's 12 of them is because the guy who came up with them, who wrote them one night while he was sitting on his bed, he chose them because there's 12 apostles. There's no real logic to how AA was designed. But the reason why AA works is because it essentially is this big machine for changing the habits around alcohol consumption and giving people a new routine, rather than going to a bar or going out and buying alcohol. It doesn't seem to work if people do it on their own. At some point, if you're changing a really deep-seated behavior, you're going to have a moment of weakness. And at that moment, if you can look across a room and see that Jim has been sober for three years, and think if Jim can do it, I can definitely do it,' that's enormously powerful.’
We can apply this same concept to our spiritual lives. Have you known someone that seems to only have negative things to say, whether it’s about people, or just in general? Or you yourself, do you find that lately you have fallen into a rut of thinking negatively and even being negative a lot? That’s because we can fall into the habit of negative thinking. And for one reason or another we have fallen into that “habit loop”.
When we think, speak and act negatively, no good can come from it. God wants us to be positive thinkers and He has a lot to say about being positive. In Philippians 4:4 it says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice”! Seems pretty hard to do a lot of the time, especially nowadays. It seems like most people we encounter can be pretty negative and sometimes downright angry at the world. But two verses later it tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”. Now in verse 8 he says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”. That’s what we are supposed to be thinking about.
So how can we begin to change our negative habits into positive ones? First, we can look to scripture and see a very specific example of how we might start this new habit. Look at Psalms 40:5, how many times do we sing it and not think about those words of encouragement to "count your blessings". Isn't it hard to count your blessings and have any room for negative thoughts? Another scripture, Matt. 6:5, reminds us that those "pure in heart will see God" and we sing "The Blessed Life" that is based on that verse. God has blessed us with so much no matter how much or how little that is and if we focus on the good and remind ourselves in daily reflection and prayer, we will, over time, begin to change the negative to positive.
We can also start purging our lives of negative people, whether young or old. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says that “bad company corrupts good morals”. If we aren't careful, even our children can be affected by negativity from their friends. It is vital that we make every effort to not let the negativity worm its way into our conversation and to avoid those who might infect us with their negative thoughts.
Something that has helped me in the past is, if you say something negative, come back with something positive. It may be something frivolous at first, but over time your mind is getting in that habit of trying to find the positive thing before you have time to think of something negative.
Look at the friends you already have. Do you feel good when you spend time with them? When you look back on time spent together, do the conversations generally stay positive? Sure, we all vent from time to time with our spouses and friends, but we usually don't gravitate to grumpy, angry, negative people because of how they make us feel. They, in turn, are probably looking for their friends to be happy, upbeat and positive too. How can we not be a happy people when we know that Jesus loves us?
We may need to talk to our spouses and friends and let them know we are making an effort to change into more positive thinkers and talkers. With prayer, help from others and changing our thinking we can change and become people who find the positive.
Gary Richards
